Did I keep driving to you every night ‘cause I loved you

Or ‘cause I was used to it

I think I was used to it

 

Did I deal with your issues every day

And convince myself to stay

All because I was just used to it

 

I guess I was used to it

I guess I was used to it

Guess I was

Guess I was

Guess I was used to it

 

Oh I think I was used to it

I think I was used to it

Think I was

Think I was

Think I was used to it

 

Oh why did I keep coming back for more

After you already closed the door

Why did I keep coming back for more

 

Used to being used

Used to being abused

Used to hanging on a noose

Why don’t you come and cut me loose

 

Did you talk to me like I was so worthless and ugly

Because you were used to me

You thought that I wouldn’t leave

 

I held on past the time I was alright 

Ended it with that last fight 

I don’t ever wanna get used to this

 

I don’t wanna get used to this

Don’t wanna get used to this

Don’t wanna get

Wanna get

Wanna get used to this

 

I don’t wanna get used to this

Don’t wanna get used to this

Don’t wanna get

Wanna get

Wanna get used to this

 

Oh why did I keep coming back for more

After you already closed the door

Why did I keep coming back for more

 

Used to being used

Used to being abused

Used to hanging on a noose

You know I had to cut me loose

 

Used to being used 

Used to being abused

Used to being lied to

You know I had to find the truth

 

I sure hope that you’re gonna be okay

Being so lonely

Well I guess

You better get used to it

 

You better get used to it

You better get used to it

Better get

Better get

Better get used to it

 

You might wanna get used to it

Yeah you better get used to it

Better get

Better get

Better get used to it

 

There’s this guy

He just might be my new bae

Treats me like a lady

And I think I could used to it

 

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

I love you 

But I miss the pain

Of finding myself again

Don’t wanna lose you

I know it’s insane

But I need some inspiration

Yeah

 

I wanna cry my eyes out

I wanna lose my mind

Mess up all my mascara

Thinking about good times

 

Wanna be obsessed with you

Like you’re the perfect one

Convince myself that I just

Can’t survive without you

 

I wanna break up 

But not for real 

I just wanna remember how it feels

Yeah, I know it’s messed up

It’s kind of weird

Just long enough to cry some lonely tears

Then we gotta make up

 

Then we gotta make up

 

You’re nice and steady

Know what to expect

I miss overthinking about what you meant

About everything that you said

And it always playing in my head

Yeah, it’s still playing in my head, yeah

 

Can’t believe that I’m sick of

How good you are for me

Non-emotional roller coasters

Are so boring

 

I want your words to rip 

My entire world apart

Wanna feel like I got shot

Straight through my broken heart

 

I wanna break up 

But not for real 

I just wanna remember how it feels

Yeah, I know it’s messed up

It’s kind of weird

Just long enough to cry some lonely tears

Then we gotta make up

 

Break up then make up

And everything’s fine

Break up then make up

As long as you’re mine

 

The highs feel much higher

After the lows

Let’s see how low that I can go

So low that I rip up all our photos

Then tape them together like “Oh, no”

 

I wanna break up 

But not for real 

I just wanna remember how it feels

Yeah, I know it’s messed up

It’s kind of weird

Just long enough to cry some lonely tears

 

Yeah, I wanna break up 

But not for real 

I just wanna remember how it feels

Yeah, I know it’s messed up

It’s kind of weird

Just long enough to cry some lonely tears

 

Then we gotta make up

Make up

Make up

 

Make up 

After we break up

After we break up

 

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

You think I’m pretty but I feel pretty unstable

Wanna be happy but it seems I am unable 

To keep these thoughts from coming through

I feel so guilty ‘cause my life looks good on paper

I’m missing chemicals that could help me feel better

Don’t know what’s wrong with me, Why can’t I just be happy

Shit. I think I’m gonna lose it

 

And I just wanna have a breakdown right now, All I wanna do is cry

Yeah I just wanna have a breakdown right now, Can someone tell me it’s alright?

 

Don’t wanna take the pills to make myself feel happy

I hide behind a smile and people think I am

It’s true. . . I’m sad and don’t know what to do

I feel ungrateful ‘cause I really got a lot

And I’m tired of focusing on all the things I’m not

I’ve been trying hard to get comfortable in my skin, But every now and again. . . 

 

I just wanna have a breakdown right now, All I wanna do is cry

Yeah I just wanna have a breakdown right now

Can someone come and save my life

 

“Cause I don’t wanna be a let down right now, All I ever do is try

No I don’t wanna be a let down right now, Can someone make me feel alright?

 

Let down like nothing,nowhere. and NF, Just kidding to all of my haters I’m deaf

Learned that from Nicole ‘cause she is the best

But when it comes down to the thoughts in my head

I’m a letdown like nothing,nowhere. and NF

Just kidding to all of my doubters I’m deaf

Learned that from Nicole ‘cause she is the best

But when it comes down to the thoughts in my head

 

I self-loathe and stay hurt, Not something that I deserve

And it gets worse. . . I treat myself like dirt

But then I get up, Put on my makeup

Write a song and get ready‘Cause I’m not giving up

No I’m not giving up

 

I may have issues but that’s part of being human

My brain may be filled with anxiety and doom

But I’ve been really working on that shit

 

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

Anxious Girl

Call On Me 

Reach out your hand

I’ll set you free

I’m still here for you

 

Life is nothing more than a never ending checklist

Finding all the ways to make myself anxious

I try so hard just not to be like this

But every time I think I’m done

I worry about something

 

God you’re always saying not to be anxious

I just gotta ask you, “Why’d you make me like this?”

I keep on praying but I can’t seem to stop it

And now I’m just feeling frustrated and hopeless

 

Anxious Girl

Call On Me 

Reach out your hand

I’ll set you free

I’m still here for you

 

Worried girl

Don’t forget

All the times 

We’ve been through this

I’ll take care of you

 

Life is nothing more than a passing destination

Won’t be here for long

Don’t make it complicated

I know that it can all be a little frustrating

But pray and do your best to let Him calm the anxious

 

Thoughts all in your head overwhelming and spinning

Drop to the ground when you don’t think of what you’re missing

I’ve got a God who I know will go the distance

His love is all I’m gonna need to get through this

 

Anxious Girl

Call On Me 

Reach out your hand

I’ll set you free

I’m still here for you

 

Worried girl

Don’t forget

All the times 

We’ve been through this

I’ll take care of you

 

And I know that you’re tired

With your thoughts like fire

Just burning you

They keep burning you

 

And I know that it’s hard

To get out of the bed

When you never rest

You can never rest

 

And you wish that you could

Just escape your own head

The thoughts never end

‘Til we’re dead

 

But I know there’s a light

On the other side

Even if you have

An anxious mind

 

Anxious girl

Don’t forget

All the times

We’ve been through this

He’ll take care of you

 

Worried girl

Don’t forget

Your track record’s 100%

Girl, you know He’s got you

 

Anxious girl (Don’t forget all the times we’ve been through this)

He’ll take care of you

Worried girl (Don’t forget your track record’s 100%)

 

You know He’s got you

And He’s got me, too

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

I’ve been feeling

Inside out in my feelings

Upside down, on the ceiling

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I’m finally breathing

The smoke ain’t gone, but it’s clearing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

I ain’t there yet

 

Inhale, exhale on repeat, yeah

Lately, it’s so hard to breathe, yeah

Falling ’bout a million times

It’s a miracle I’m still alive

No one said that it was easy

Tryna piece the broken pieces

But that’s the shit I’m working on

The journey is a work of art

 

I can’t erase all the things that I’ve done

But all the mistakes made me who I’ve become

I’ve been feeling

Inside out in my feelings

Upside down, on the ceiling

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I’m finally breathing

The smoke ain’t gone, but it’s clearing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

 

Breaking down, don’t mean I’m broken 

Losing hope, don’t mean I’m hopeless

And maybe all I need is time 

It never happens overnight

I can’t erase all the things that I’ve done 

But all the mistakes made me who

I’ve become 

 

I’ve been feeling 

Inside out in my feelings 

Upside down, on the ceiling

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I’m finally breathing

The smoke ain’t gone, but it’s clearing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing 

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

I’m finally, breathing 

The smoke ain’t gone, but it’s clearing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I ain’t there yet, but I’m healing 

Ooh, yeah, yeah

I ain’t there yet

Written by Scott Harris, Carrie Fletcher, Jonah Shai, Aldae Long

Cover by Mackenzie Morrow

You need some time for yourself

Just you and no one else

But I can’t take this pressure

Don’t think you’d be doing better with nobody else

 

I’ll take some time for myself

Just me and no one else

But I can’t take this loneliness

And you’re the only one who saves me from myself

 

So save me from myself, From myself, From this hell,Oooooo

 

And you need some time for yourself

Just you and no one else

You don’t know how bad it hurts me

Makes me feel like I could throw up all over myself

 

I’ll take some time for myself

Just me and no one else

Yeah I’ll spend it all just sleeping

‘Cuz I get so tired of weeping here all by myself

 

Come save me from myself, From myself, From this hell, Ooooo

 

And if you need to think about it

I don’t mind

I know it just takes time

 

And if you need a little space

I’ll try my best

Not to get in your face

 

I’m looking up all the different articles

To tell me what to do on the internet

And everything I find tells me to just stay cold

Pretend that I don’t even feel it, But I can’t do that

 

And I don’t want to annoy you

But do you think that you could talk for a minute? 

‘Cuz we’ve been together for so long

But lately you’ve been acting so different

 

But I can save myself, Save myself 

From this hell, Ooooo

Yeah, I can save myself, From this hell

Don’t need your help, Ooooo, Yeah, I can save myself

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

I spend every day

Wondering when I’ll go insane

Thought I was getting better

But then the pandemic came

 

Man this is even worse that 2019

Thought I hit rock bottom back before 2020

Lost a couple loved ones while being abused

Lied to my face while I was being used

 

Then I made it to the other side

Yeah I came through

And found someone worth being with

I was happy for a couple months

Then got hit with this

 

Now a year and a half later

I’m still cooped up in my bed

Thinking of all the worst-case scenarios that play in my head

Wondering if I’d be better off dead

Considering actually trying the meds 

But I’m too anxious to take them

So I’m miserable instead

 

Kind of jealous of my little cousin

I know it’s awful 

But that’s what I said

I miss him so much 

But I’m happy he doesn’t have to deal with all this dread

 

I feel ungrateful because i know my life is blessed

But the chemicals aren’t balanced

So my thoughts are a mess

What am I supposed to do about feeling depressed

 

Feel like I’m always about to break down

Like I’m always on edge

I try everything

Exercise and eat healthy

But I can’t get rid of the sickness in my head

Even though I go to therapy

 

Think I’m doomed to be this way forever

I feel like a failure and it’s torture

The perfectionist in me has bubbly projections 

Because I don’t want others to see how I suffer

Because then how can I be a testament to my health or my faith

When every day I’m questioning why God made me this way

I thought he didn’t make mistakes

 

What can I say

What can I do

I pray and pray

But nothing ever makes this nightmare go away

 

Teetering between the best life and no life at all

It looks so good on paper

But then I ruin it all

With my emotions

My negativity

I should be thankful

I’ve got everything going for me

But what does that matter when my brain’s destroying me

 

But yeah

I should probably be happy

Thanks for telling me how to feel

I’m all better now

Like my problems weren’t real

 

Wish that’s how it worked

My life doesn’t match how I feel

Wish I knew how to stop it

Been trying 26 years

 

Nothing’s ever good enough

Always scared of the future and missing the past

I spend most of my good days waiting for things to go wrong

It’s not that I don’t trust God

It’s that I don’t trust myself

I feel like everyday life is too much because of my mental health

 

Tired of hiding what I think because I care what people think of me

These are my feelings

If you want, you can judge me

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

I know that you are feeling shy

‘Cuz you’re different from the others and you don’t know why

You know that I don’t ever wanna see you cry

You look so magical in the sky

Don’t ever feel like you have to hide

‘Cuz who you are is beautiful deep inside

Believe in yourself and you’ll go so high

All you have to do is spread your wings and fly

 

People always tell me “Just be yourself”

Then when I am, They want me to be somebody else

I never really fit in, And I don’t know why

All I know is that I’m a black butterfly

Black butterfly, B-b-b-butter, All I, all I really know is that I’m a black butterfly

Black butterfly, B-b-b-butter, All I, all I really know is that I’m a black butterfly

 

Suffocated by this colorful world

But no one ever said you’d be a normal girl

Tried to paint your wings, but it didn’t work

If only you could see just what you’re worth

 

People always tell me, “Just be yourself”

Then when I am, They want me to be somebody else

I never really fit in, And I don’t know why

All I know is that I’m a black butterfly

Black butterfly, B-b-b-butter All I, all I really know is that I’m a black butterfly

Black butterfly, B-b-b-butter All I, all I really know is that I’m a black butterfly

 

Our differences are what make us beautiful

Each quality added up is what makes us us

Embrace every part of who you are

From your freckles to your scars

From your aesthetic all the way down to your heart

(All I know is that I’m a black butterfly)

Black butterfly, B-b-b-butter, All I, all I really know is that I’m a black butterfly

Black Butterfly, B-b-b-butter All I, all I really know is that I’m a black butterfly

 

So if you’re feeling nervous, To be yourself

Just remember You don’t need to be anyone else

I know that you don’t fit in

There’s a reason why

You’re such a beautiful butterfly

Written and Performed by Mackenzie Morrow

Six months and I’m barely breathing

Keep replaying the night you were leaving

Can’t wrap my mind around why you had to go

 

Six months and I still have no closure

Every time I think I’m a little closer

Someone’s gotta ask how you’re doing now, now

 

So please, can you tell me if you’re happy

Do you think you did the right thing

By living your life without me 

 

Eight months and I’m not believing 

How I’ve made it this far when I’m bleeding

There’s no heartbreak that’d ever stop me now

 

If I can live when my heart’s not beating 

And I can sing when my lungs aren’t breathing

I can say I’m a stronger person now, now

 

But please, won’t you just come and revive me

Boy, I’m on the ground with both knees

Come on have some mercy on me

 

Cuz I don’t wanna be the lonely

Be this lonely

I feel so empty

Without you here with me

 

And I remember all the times that you put your hand in mine 

And you told me about everything that’s on your mind 

But I guess the things you think about have changed since then 

 

And I think back to all the times that your eyes looked into mine

And your mouth told me that everything would be just fine 

But I guess fine for you has change since then too 

 

Really

Has it been a year already

What I’d give to rewind baby 

To when you first started loving me 

Do you remember all the times that your lips pressed into mine

And we didn’t say much at all but that was fine

We didn’t need to then but now I wish we could

Wish you would 

 

Do you think back to all the times I said, “If you’re forever mine,”

And you said, “Not if, but when,” every single time

But I guess that you’ve completely changed your mind

I went to sleep to get away from my thoughts

And then I woke up from a bad dream

Oh oh

Kinda surprised that I woke up at all

Because of how real it all seemed

Oh oh oh

I drove back home to get away from it all

But then I started realizing

Oh oh

There’s nowhere I can go to escape it all

But that don’t mean I’m gone quit trying

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh

I’ll run forever

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh

Let’s run together

I came to your place just to laugh it all off

And you could tell that I’d been crying

Oh oh

But seein’ your face just erased it all

And you weren’t even trying

Oh oh oh

You make me smile so big

Bigger than I thought

You think I’m playin’

I ain’t lying

Oh oh

Just bein’ with you is the best thing of all

Let’s just keep laughin’ ‘til we’re dying

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh

I’ll love you forever

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh

No one else never

And I just wanna let go of everything

And hold onto you

Darlin’ make me forget everything

However you want to

Yeah hug me and kiss me or hold me close

Do what you wanna do

It really don’t matter baby

As long as I’m with you

These days I’m missin’ you way more than you thought

Please come and wake me from this bad dream

Oh oh

And kiss my lips and make me laugh it all off

For that I swear I’d give anything

Oh oh oh

Bein’ without you is the worst thing of all

‘Til we’re together I’ll keep fighting

Oh oh

Pretendin’ I don’t care would just feel so wrong

Because I’d know that I was lying

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh

I’ll love you forever

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh

No one else never

And I just wanna let go of everything

And hold onto you

Please make me forget everything

Just like you used to do

Yeah hug me and kiss me and hold me close

And whisper “I love you”

‘Cuz none of those words matter anyway

Unless they’re from you

Ah ah

I’ll love you forever

Ah ah

Say you’ll love me forever

Too.